Teachers Discover Gadgets

Most students in the 6th Grade have some kind of electronic gadget that they bring to school. By their sophomore year of high school, 93% of students have a phone, iPod, or MP3 in their backpack. As a result, school districts across the country are struggling to come up with an effective policy regarding electronic devices. Should they be outlawed? If you do that, prepare for the wrath of parents, who argue that they can’t keep in touch with their children unless they have a cell phone. Should schools confiscate all phones at the door, and give the phones back at the end of the day? No one wants that logistical nightmare! What if we use cell phone jammers and radiowave-blocking paint to keep students from being able to use their phones at school? Parents and students alike are threatening lawsuits if an emergency situation were to arise, and their attempts to call for help are blocked. The solution (for now) is that most schools have a “Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell” policy regarding electronic devices. This means that students can have devices, but they will not have them taken away if they are not seen or heard during the school day. The result is that students spend most of their day trying to get around the rule. Because you are a rookie teacher, students will probably think that they can pull the wool over your eyes by using one of these techniques:

1. “Head-On-Hand Music Man” – This technique involves keeping one’s iPod in a front pocket, then stringing the earphone cords up through the torso of a long sleeve shirt, then up the sleeve until the earbuds emerge in the listener’s hand. The student then rests his head on his hand, seemingly deep in thought while he looks at you as you present your interesting lesson. You think he is contemplating the difference between acute and obtuse angles, but the reality is that he is listening to 50 Cent.

2. “Peek-A-Boo” – This method involves having one’s hand under a jacket, hoodie, or sweater. (Editor’s Note: It is safe to assume that if you cannot see a student’s hand, it is attached to an electronic device.) The jacket can either be sitting on a desk, or on the student’s lap. When the student sees that your attention is focused on another area of the room, they simply lift their hand to reveal the device. When you look back in their general direction, the hand lies flat under the jacket again. Advanced students of this method will periodically pull their empty hand out from under the jacket to show you that they aren’t engaged in any illegal activity. Of course, their electronic device is under the jacket, waiting to be used later in the class.

3. “Bookworm” – Students will prop a textbook on their lap or desk, and will seem to be incredibly interested in what the book has to say! Your clue is that they are not actually holding on to the book…their hands are inside the pages of the book. Are they using their fingers to move from word to word, to make sure that they do not lose their place? No. They are checking their messages.

4. “Poop-n-Text” – I warn rookie teachers against using the student bathroom in another section of my website, so I am really revealing this texting secret to any administrators visiting the site. However, if you are just visiting the student restroom to “check things out” or say “Hi!”…notice the students sitting in the stalls. You will also notice that their pants are not down around their ankles. Don’t be alarmed, it’s just students sitting on the toilet, fully clothed, texting. I have never confiscated a student’s phone while they texted on the toilet. My philosophy is this: If you are so desperate to text that you will sit on a toilet to do so…have fun! I have to draw the line somewhere.

5. “The Rummager” – Some students think we are so dumb! They rummage around in their backpack, supposedly looking for a pen, pencil, textbook, or paper…but in reality, they are sending a text or checking their messages. They really think we can’t figure it out!

6. “Belly Texter” – This method is only for advanced texters! Some students have such an intimate knowledge of their keyboard that they will wear a hoodie to school almost every day. Why wear a hoodie every day, you ask? So that they can sit in class and smile at you while you teach your interesting lesson…while their hands are in the front pocket of their hoodie, typing a message to their BFF.

7. “Hoodwinked” – Students will put their MP3 player in their jeans pocket, then string their earphone cords up through the back of their hoodie, and up over their ears…putting the earbuds in their ears. You can’t see the earbuds because they are wearing their hood over their head. Solution: Do not let students wear their hoodie on their head, no matter how “cold” they tell you they are!

When you confiscate a student’s phone, label it with the student’s name and the date you confiscated it. Make sure to LOCK IT UP in a lockable cabinet or drawer, or turn it in to an administrator as soon as possible. Also, please resist the temptation to go through the student’s phone while you have it. You open yourself to so much bad stuff when you do that! Visit my website for more tips on how to control your class!

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